AN ANECDOTE OF MY FIRST HEARTACHE

When I first saw you, it was just a crush.
A teener's admiration in a hush.
An admiration turned puppy love.
A simple uncomplicated feeling I had.


We were freshmen then, and on our second semester.
We were in the same PE dance class, I could still remember.
Although we were not in the same group nor partners.
I was more than contented to see you laughing with your peers.


Winter came, so with summer spring and fall.
A year had gone by the more I droll.
I would give anything just to be a constant company of you.
Anything to be there wherever you go.


But then fate intervened.
Oh, I loved its manipulations then.
I could have thank fate for everything it did.
It seems to acknowledge, I'm no more a kid.


I hardly could imagine,
That in reality it would happen.
For in our junior year I was transferred to your class.
And was befriended with you that fast.


My happiness was unfathomable.
When I learned you remembered me and all.
Learning you could still recall,
Who I was and what our NSTP group did that fall.


Fate had been so good to be true.
Making me a part of the Nursing Research group where the leader was you.
Then and there I came to know you more.
And for me, you were not end never had been a bore.


Yes, our classmate was your sweetheart that time.
But my heart never seems to mind.
Because deep in my heart I knew.
That you won't last in my point of view.


Yes you two didn't work it out.
Due to the many rows you both had, I doubt.
Much for my gladness, I still felt sad.
Seeing you brokenhearted, crying and sad.


And the a year or more was what I've been longing for.
When six time a week my heart would soar.
Three days in class, three days in the same hospital duties with you.
Was what my heart's always craving to do.


During our senior year, I knew my feelings intensified.
But as always, I had to hide.
Afraid for the outcomes of my feelings if you knew.
Afraid for our friendship to end, one thing I might rue.


You were oblivious to my feelings.
The way I wanted it, to be hidden.
But deep in my heart I knew.
I wanted you badly to be my beau.


But every time I got a chance to say.
Even my bravado failed to convey.
How could my non-existing courage help me be.
When even my guts betrayed me.


I am a traditional Filipina, as in my blood it runs.
And I am to behave like a proper one.
I am not supposed to reveal what I really feel.
But wait for you even if it's like waiting for snow in hell.


School year was then to be over.
But I was still waiting, almost in tears.
Since that first Sunday I laid my eyes on you.
Up to now that we were to graduate, I am still yearning for you.


My faith and hopes died.
When I saw you walking by her side.
Extreme sadness, excruciating pain and cold numbness struck me.
When I saw you were grinning, contented and very happy.


What more was I to do?
but to say goodbye to the feeling I had for you.
Although I was hurt I had to say.
that the four blissful and agonizing years of waiting didn't pay.


More or so. I was happy to let you go.
I can't force you to love me too.
But I knew I had to request A friendly hug from you.
Which you obliged during Recollection, not knowing I loved you.


Yes, you hugged me for three seconds or so.
And whispered in my ears, "I'll miss you".
My euphoric heart did galloped.
But then you added, "together with your group".


It may be hard for me to let go.
The love that I've been cultivating for years or so.
But I can't dwell on my unreciprocated feelings.
Cause I knew Kismet would pay my heartaches for a worthy being.


So here I am.
Waiting for my feelings to calm down.
And for the last time, savoring the taste of my love for you.
The bittersweet taste of an unrequited love kills me to sorrow.